Saturday, August 12, 2006

So I'm a Planner

The Hub isn't real fond of checking out profiles. He believes our agency when they say that our kids will likely come to us from our region as fost/adopt placements, not straight adoption. While I don't disbelieve that statement, I can't just sit around and not do anything.

However, the kids I mentioned a few posts down seem to have done a number on him. He asked me this evening if I'd heard anything from their caseworker (I had, but only a form letter telling us to get information from our SW so as not to clog the works with pointless emails, which I'm totally cool with). Plus, he showed the video to the ladies at his office, and they once again went nuts. (By the way, before I met and married him, these ladies did their damnedest to get him to settle down with a nice girl, they think he's the cat's pajamas, and even if he went into work naked snorting blow off a hooker's ass, he'd still be the person they tell their sons to grow up to be like.) What this means to me is that he's on board.

Now, once I have a go-ahead from him, I launch into research mode as a way to own the situation. I've done this to varying degrees with lots of kids, and once I do it, they bounce of the website faster than a ham on Easter. I'm okay with that. I've learned a ton. When one kid's favorite food was Italian, I spent a week trying out Northern vs. Southern styles. When two brothers lurrrved to play hockey, I knew the dates and locations of tryouts, practices, and then tried to block out how expensive hockey equipment would be. When IEPs were involved, by golly, I learned what the heck that was. See? Research.

However, these kids didn't give me that much to go on. They love animals. Cool, we have those. Youngest will till fields. Um, maybe we can be weekend sharecroppers, or just teach him how to start the lawnmower? Middle child likes his Gameboy. Woot, so do I. Oldest plays volleyball, loves to draw, gets good grades. Me, too! Yay for drawing! She also wants a young mom. Hey, I' only 13 years older than you are, it would be almost physically impossible for me to be your biological mother, that should count! They like to ride horses. Yay, there's a family 800 feet away that trades barn chores for lessons!

See, nothing I could really get my hooks into and start learning about. A sibling group last month lead me to FFA and 4H, so I've got the animal husbandry angle down pat. I have already had the opportunity to discover how many AP classes our public high school offers, and their national ranking. And I am hopeful that my Sims/World of Warcraft/Oblivion: Elder Scrolls prowess will impress the snot out of any boy in the 10+ range.

So I called up my little sister, who is 8 months older than the oldest child in this group. (This is the sister with the reproduction-repressing babyhood, not the one who couldn't pick out bridesmaid dresses if the fate of Starbucks depended on it.) And guess what? Next year, her best friend's Quinceanera will be featured on MTV on My Super Sweet 16.

This is plenty of tizzy-inducing information. Problem solved.

I should know all about the Quinceanera, but by the fluke of moving from North Star to Lone Star at 15 years and 11 months, I do not. The Quince was a thing of the past, something already relegated to photographs on the mantle and a tiara hanging on the bedpost by the time I made acquaintance with my high school pals.

Temporary fixation in my sights, Jim. Rock and Roll. I loves to throw me some parties, and what could be more family-affirming than planning a Quinceanera (not on the My Super Sweet 16 scale by any stretch, of course, cause, ya know, we're not CEOs of Coca Cola)? So, yup, I'll learn what I can in a "lets be prepared just in case" sort of way, just like I did with PeeWee hockey, the Track Meet Schedule, and trying to understand the appeal of Bratz dolls.


Margaret said...

That's great you're open to foster/adopt. I'm not willing to do that... I'm afraid of it. I'm too afraid that the TPR wouldn't happen and the kids would be removed or something. I just wouldn't be fostering for the right reasons. I'm glad there are people like you who want to and can do it.

Keep looking at those boards, though. If you're going through a local DHS office, you have to realize that your worker is probably a)swamped b) focused on finding the kids in her area homes -- the kids are her first priority c) inquiring about photolisted kids is kind of a pain because you have to keep on it, so it may be something she doesn't have a ton of time for.

(Then remember that I don't know your case worker and am speaking in grand generalizations so I may be completely wrong about her.)

Baggage said...

I loved this post! So funny. I actually got Bug before I ever got a foster placement. Let's see. I think it was end of april/May that I got licensed. Then I got Bug at the end of June. She came home in July. And then I got 7 placements really quickly. It was weird. I'm going to have to write about Bug's "ad" soon.

Chris & Michelle Sapp said...

Love reading your posts! I found myself doing the same things when we were waiting for our kids. Our first daughter/referral was deaf, si I went full force into sign language. We never were able to bring her home, but I still learn new signs...just in case someday :-) It helps pass the time and will make you so ready for whatever comes your way.

jeneflower said...

You are so dedicated. Wow. The only thing I thought of doing was dying my hair the same color as my new daughter to be. M vetoed this idea.