Monday, August 07, 2006

Me, A Source of Hope?

Adoption is still a strange thing for me to get my mind around. When you give birth, you hope for health, maybe pine for a girl or a boy more than the other, but even with all the things that can go wrong, the goal is the same, and it is much up to luck. So it seems to me strange that we're choosing our children.

When I first found Adopt US Kids, I was unnerved, since it reminded me of Petfinder (not to mention AutoTrader, but I can't even think about that). It sickened me to have even thought of the resemblance of the two sites, but there it was. Maybe in a way it makes sense, since the Humane Society preceded Child Welfare, but it was sort of heart-crushing that the same tactics are used to find homes for both children and pets. I'll not dispute the efficacy of photolistings, but the need for them scares me and makes me sad. But I read them, and I ask myself, "Am I his mother?"

I also have an odd reaction to the Wednesday's Child-style segments on the evening news. On one hand, I wish a TV station did that here, so I wouldn't have to rely on ineffective keyword searches where I have to pick a large-ish city then use words like "child love wednesday" for a Google search -- the results can be icky. From another perspective, I think these segments do a lot to gloss over the problems kids face. I just don't know. Are these things good because they get families into the system, or are they bad because they present a rosy picture where there might be a lot of trouble. But it isn't as if I'm immune to the wishful thinking, and I know better. Maybe there are older kids out there who will come into my home and flourish with love and understanding and care, and maybe it will be so hard that I'll sit in the closet and cry for two hours every day. There's just no way to know yet, I suppose.

So I'm sitting around my house watching videos of kids today, and one link I've been forwarded is of 3 siblings. They're in seperate homes, or at least they were 9 months ago when the segment was taped and aired on a local TV station, and although I've seen their writeup over the last few months, I looked at their "moderate" tags and didn't consider them for very long, 'till I was informed that "moderate" can be oh so many things. But I think these are good kids. These are gonna-be-great kids, if that makes any sense. The hopes they have for a family made me cry, cause that's what I do lately while looking at profiles and watching videos of kids. My emotional trigger today was listening to these boys say "I want a mom that is safe," and "I want a mom who will feed me when I need it." So, um, interest form submitted. Ya, I'm sometimes incapable of practicing what I preach, and sometimes I just want to hope for the best.

5 comments:

Margaret said...

The photolistings are definitely hard. I can only take it for so long, then I have to look away. The "Am I your mother" question is the critical one. It's not about finding children for us, it's finding the right home for the kids.

It's also frustrating to me that a child can be photolisted, yet when you inquire about them you may hear nothing back from their caseworkers. I know there are some legit reasons for that, but it's still weird to me.

baggage said...

I agree with a lot of what you are saying. I wonder how much of a necessary evil they are.

When I first found out about Bug, it was four or five sentences (most of which turned out to be untrue!) but absolutely NOTHING that would indicate the actual problems she had/has. I know they can't tell the truth in these "ads" for privacy, but...

Queenbee said...

I'm hoping for the best with you!

Chris & Michelle Sapp said...

Can't wait to hear where this inquiry leads you....

Maerlowe said...

While I can get worked up about a lack of response, it is mostly when I'm told a deadline and then it isn't met. In the case of these interest forms, I'm regarding it as putting something out into the universe, and if the stars align, I'll hear something back before we have to recertify. These kids aren't the only ones we've submitted on, but I can say that without seeing their video, I probably wouldn't have submitted our profile, which is odd. I don't think that we should sit back and wait for a situation to drop into our laps -- but I'm also at a point now where I can say "whatever happens happens" and mean it. For example, we submitted on kids last week, and a few days ago we got an email from their placement worker stating that the boys are matched and almost ready to move in to their new home. I was so happy for them.

So, it isn't likely that this specific group we pinged will be The Kids. And that's okay. Somehow, we'll get there. And that's cool.