Scene: Lovely family of 3/4/5 watching... America's Got Talent on TV. After some very nice dog plays the violin, a commercial plays, wherein voiceover says, "ED is a serious problem, affecting millions of men," or some such.
Child: Mommy (or Hey You, depending on how he's feeling), what's ED?
Maer: Um. (Must not say, "A reason to own a vibrator." Must not say that to seven year old.) What, honey?
Child: ED. Do I have it?
Maer: No, darling. ED is an owie that old men get. (Whew, good job! Too bad I can't distract him with a bouncing ball like the dogs.)
Child: What kind of owie?
Maer: An owie that makes them sad. (Stop asking. You're seven. Damn you, Bob Dole, for mainstreaming Viagra so many years ago. I could have handled a question about douching, but ED?)
Child turns back to television in time to watch David Hasselhoff sing Hooked on a Feeling. Maer silently thanks Omar Bradley for leading the Allied Spring Offensive, if only so that this crap isn't on the radio everyday. And, just cause I'm wondering, are Germans into pseudo-kidnapping of prostitutes? Or is it just the relationship between a man and his Kitt that turns them on?
Think that'll work? Or will it just cause my kid to say, "Do you have ED, Mister?" to every sad old man he meets? Because that could be 1. troubling, 2. hard to explain to a social worker if he's a sad old man, or 3. freakin' hilarious.