Wednesday, September 13, 2006


All this waiting isn't that bad, but it isn't fun. I'm a classic overthinker when time allows, like now.

I want to do this, I want to adopt, but I also don't want this experience to break me, to turn me into a crying wretch huddled into the corner of my closet behind The Hub's khaki pants, and good gosh, some of the things y'all go through would put me there. I am doubting my own strength, I think. The Hub happens to be doing the same thing, it turns out, and to him I said, "That's stupid. You'll be the best father this world has ever seen." Why can't I believe that about myself, even after he says it?

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