I was probably unclear in my last post. No, Huck's file won't have bearing on whether we adopt him or not. We are adopting him. However, we need to see that file for his sake. I want to know as much as I can about the first 39 months of his life because he will need to know. I'm worried that, if we adopted Huckle in three weeks, even if an adoption agreement were hammered out in that time, we'd never see that file because redacting a huge file like his would become the last thing on anyone's mind. We will drag our feet for that file because Huckle will have all sorts of questions in a year, in five years, in ten years.

There are just so many things I owe this boy. I owe him his history, I owe him his future, I owe him everything I can scrounge and scrape and fight for in order to help him heal. Holding out for a file and a psych eval are easy. Procuring post adoptive services for a 3 year old caucasion boy is easy. It is the least I can do for him, it really is.