Now that we know we have another 6-8 months here, it feels like it is time for me to decide whether I will get in touch with Huckle's mom and maternal grandparents.
Before Huck was adopted, there was a court order keeping them away. Or, keeping us from contacting them, I suppose, is more like it. Since he was removed from his mom in October 2006, none of them have had any news of him, save for the TPR hearing which the grandparents showed up to, but left halfway through. I feel very, very guilty about this. I want them to know that he is healthy, happy, safe, and loved.
I don't usually hem and haw over things. I make a decision, I move forward. In this instance, though, I've decided by not deciding.
I want to talk to them. I think the grandparents would be open to this, and I hope his mom would be.
The big, big impediment is Huckle's father. As of this moment, he is in prison. He may be there for another 18 years. He could be released this afternoon, though. His first parole eligibility date was in May of 2008, and due to the backlog of parole-eligible inmates, it can take up to a year for the review to go through and early release to be granted. The parole board won't tell me anything about the status, so we wait. And carry a tazer.
Huck's father is nearly 50 years old and has spent about half his life in prison. At first there were drug convictions. Then he murdered a man. A few years after he was released for that, Huckle was born. Huck's dad was not happy when Huck entered the system, and aside from a few more drug charges, he also kidnapped Huckle twice, beat Huckle's mother and grandmother to a pulp, and set their house on fire while they were asleep. He also hurt Huckle. After all of this, Huckle's mom still handed Huckle over to his father for a bag of drugs.
What we know is that Huck's dad says that no one will keep him from his son. He will find him and take him, he says.
Huckle's father cannot find the three of us. Just cannot.
If Huck's mom and grandparents know details about us, would we be safe when Huck's dad is released?
Since I could never know the answer to that until the minute he's standing in front of me, we don't reach out to Huck's mom and grandparents.
And I can't think of a more selfish thing.
(by the way, a few paragraphs of this post will vanish in a day or two)