Wednesday, May 02, 2007

We had another therapy appointment yesterday. It went fine, involving mostly kicking Hub out of the room and the therapist watching how Huck and I interact. Nothing earth-shattering. Of course, he was sweeter and kinder than he is at home, so whatever. Only toward the end did he show a bit of his normal behavior. He exhibited about half of the "invitations to play" that she would expect from the average child. But these were new toys and games, so he did a lot of asking what things were for, then going to the other side of the room.

We've now got all sorts of appointments lined up. Developmental and psych evaluations, three months of therapist appointments.

I think Huck has pretty much broken me in. Except for while Hub is out of town for more than 4 days, or when we tried to explain adoption, the things he does don't hit me that much. It doesn't even suprise me anymore that such a little child can have so much anger and pain inside of him. When the local news runs stories about how judges and the public are outraged that children are sleeping in their SWs' offices, I get confused, because where else would they sleep if they can't find a foster home?

My new normal is ... well, it just is. It isn't bad, it just isn't always good.

4 comments:

Yondalla said...

Sigh.

It's good to have developed that healthy detachment or acceptance, whatever it is. It is important to survival, and it is compatible with deep love.

We have to learn to accept the things we cannot change in order, I believe, to find the courage to change the things we can. You have to put your strength in the right places.

It is a loss of innocence, I think. It is necessary, but there is something sad about it too.

I wish you strength.

Baggage said...

I'm sorry. I know somewhat how you feel and it sucks.

Melody said...

Hi, found you through Shaz.am.

I am a mom by biology and 3x by foster-adopt...all boys. My sons were placed at ages 1yr (2 of them) and 2 mos. They were all abused infants, 2 severely abused. They now live with special needs and we've have done and do SO much therapy. So I understand your situation.

I'll be back, and would talk "boys and adoption" anytime. Bless you for this wonderful path you've chosen.

Mom2Many said...

Have to love living the life of constant appointments!!