Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I'm feeling better. I've stopped willing the ground to open up and swallow me whole. But, you know, it isn't as if I'm going to start researching heart defects now, embrace the horrible with gusto. I'll just wait and see, those medical texts will still exist after we get into the cardiologist and figure out what's the what.

Huckle's Good Therapist has me using my Dog Training Voice when asking Huck for compliance. She wants me to "teach him how to be parented properly." The last session made a lot of light bulbs go off -- even though I knew what we wanted to accomplish, the getting there, even the direction, was hard to figure out. So now, I am to be authoritative, clear, loud, firm, and kind. GT thinks that commanding respect will bond him to me more effectively -- he trusts Dog Training Voice, the DTV is consistent and dependable and might be worth believing in and handing over control to, whereas the Nice Mommy isn't trustworthy, can't be counted on, is easily manipulated, etc. (Not just me, though I do let him slide on some things because at times I may as well be begging him to be nice to me, but his mom fell into the same pattern of letting him run the show during their last reunification.) Dog Training Voice is good, so far. 36 hours into it, I'm going to consider putting this in the "breakthrough" category. Yay for observant GT, who also talked me through my fear of sounding mean while using DTV.

6 comments:

Yondalla said...

It may be offensive to say, but a lot of what one can learn from good dog trainings today is helpful for rearing children. Dogs and children do not respond well to anger and punishment, but they do respond well to clear, simple instructions they understand; a strong, benevolent alpha; quiet insistence of appropriate behavior; rewards; and an understanding of their own needs.

We could learn a lot from those books.

You are doing wonderfully. Just in keeping on keeping on, you know.

atlasien said...

Wow, have you guys ever seen The Dog Whisperer show?

Cesar, the trainer, always stresses he doesn't really train the dog, he trains the dog owner how to act, and how to let the dog be a dog in a positive way.

It's a bit squodgy having that kind of thinking applied to children, but a loose analogy can also be made to other kinds of interpersonal relationships, for example at work, with people your own age and so on.

The theory is great but the practice is really difficult.

Gawdessness said...

I call it my drill sergeant voice and sometimes I feel guilty using it but darn it works!

Mom2Many said...

As a professional dog trainer and competitor, i have found that many times when I am explaining the kids behavior I relate it to dog behavior.

We totally operate our home like a dog pack...LOL....We have alpha rules, etc.

Dog Training voice ROCKS!!

FosterAbba said...

Sit. Down. Stay. Woof!

I love it. I linked to this post from my own blog.

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